6 August 2015

After years of being outside, i am finally inside. How does this feel, you may ask? This morning my boss called me from an airport with an urgent task: he forgot to plant all of the seedlings he'd bought on the weekend, and surely they would suffer if they weren't put into the ground as soon as possible. So my inside job, isn't always inside. He also keeps bees. I have a lot of hot tea sweetened by his bees' honey. I love this connection to nature. It's very different from being a messenger! 

This afternoon when i went for lunch i found an iphone. I found things all. The. Time. Phones, wallets, bus passes, keys, passports...This was my first iphone. When the owner finally called me we arranged to meet. When we met and i handed him his phone, he tried to give me money. I refused. I usually do. I just feel weird taking a reward for doing the right thing. I have only once accepted a reward, and that was because the man was so insistent i could tell he'd be upset if i did not. So i did. It's funny, though--lots of people want their reward. I don't blame them. I just have too much saturn to feel i deserve it...Otherwise i think my reward is finding my own lost shit. And so i do. So i am rewarded!

I had such a strange month last month. I felt so pregnant. I got a little fatter, i had morning sickness, i felt the soul of an infant, my period was late. The stray cat we adopted last fall glommed herself to me. She followed me everywhere. My partner called me out on to the balcony one morning last week, to show me the three flickers in the yard. A family, he said. Remember when i wrote about my dream i was pregnant after i found the flicker feathers last september? Then...The cat became shy and detached again. The feeling of the soul of an infant went away, and after much anticipation, my period came. And so, i wait.